The Reason for the Struggle

Today I struggled through what was scheduled to be an 18 mile trail run at Red Mountain Park. I almost always complete my scheduled runs as intended. But today was not that day. I managed to finish 12 miles but just barely. I decided to call it a day.

"The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have sav'd my life." -- Falstaff, Henry IV, William Shakespeare

As I began my recovery at my car in the parking lot, I reflected on what went wrong. Yesterday, my family and I drove from Virginia home to Alabama spending 12 hours on the road. I was supposed to do this run yesterday, but with the long road trip necessitating an early start and a late finish, that clearly did not happen. Thus, the long run the day after the long ride.

After church, my family visited one of our favorite Mexican restaurants for lunch. Now, I knew that I would be running many miles not long after lunch, yet I ordered the greasy chicken quesadilla anyway. With sour cream. And tortilla chips. With cheese dip.

With a long trail race a little over a month away, I have been training with Tailwind in my hydration pack. Tailwind is a mix (think Gatorade on steroids) that should meet all the endurance athlete's calorie, hydration, and electrolyte needs. It has worked well for me on several runs in the recent past. It does not, however, work well if you fail to drink enough of it. It was a warm, spring afternoon with temperatures successfully clearing the 70 degree bar. I had been sipping Tailwind every mile throughout my run. I thought I was doing enough. But when I got back to my car, my hydration pack was still 2/3 full after 2 hours of running. Hydration fail.

As I further reflected on my run during my drive home, I realized something deeper about the struggles we all face from time to time. There are often factors in our past that are beyond our control that significantly impact our current experience. Twelve hours in a car wreaks havoc on the hamstrings. This was unavoidable. We see ourselves (but more often, others) struggling to get by without knowing or even considering how such past factors may be operating. 

As we witness the struggles of others (and sometimes ourselves), we are quick to point to bad decisions in the past as the cause of the current struggle. But do we understand -- truly understand -- the reasons for the bad decision? Why in the world did I order the chicken quesadilla? Was the decision influenced by others? Were the future consequences apparent at the time the decision was made?

Just as I failed to realize I was not drinking enough on a long run on a warm day, we sometimes do not comprehend that we are going off track even when we should know better. I certainly had not intended to drink an insufficient amount, but that's what I did.

Going forward, I will strive to examine what is happening (or what has happened) before I reach the point of struggling. Rather than beat myself up when I got home, I decided to give myself a pass this time. And hopefully, I will afford the same courtesy to others.